Confrontation

 

The Webster dictionary defines Confront as to face boldly, to oppose, to bring face to face. In leadership we will always have to deal with confronting and being confronted even though it can be challenging and often intimidating if we view it improperly and approach incorrectly. After well over 20 years of pastoral ministry I have seen things that have worked, things that haven’t and have made my share of mistakes when confronting other and when being confronted. In this chapter I am going to share some practical advice that you apply right away and refer back to when having to deal with confrontation.

 

Four Things to Remember About Confrontation:

 

1) Confrontation is Difficult

 

Anyone that does not find confronting to be difficult at times has serious emotional problems and needs therapy. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 in The Living Bible; I call upon this God to witness against me if I am not telling the absolute truth: the reason I haven't come to visit you yet is that I don't want to sadden you with a severe rebuke. When I come, although I can't do much to help your faith, for it is strong already, I want to be able to do something about your joy: I want to make you happy, not sad. "No," I said to myself, "I won't do it. I'll not make them unhappy with another painful visit." For if I make you sad, who is going to make me happy? You are the ones to do it, and how can you if I cause you pain? That is why I wrote as I did in my last letter, so that you will get things straightened out before I come. Then, when I do come, I will not be made sad by the very ones who ought to give me greatest joy. I felt sure that your happiness was so bound up in mine that you would not be happy either unless I came with joy. Oh, how I hated to write that letter! It almost broke my heart, and I tell you honestly that I cried over it. I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to show you how very much I loved you and cared about what was happening to you. We see from these verses that Paul like us battled and disliked confrontation.

 

Why is confronting so difficult?

 

• We have a fear of being disliked
• Fear of creating anger or making matters worse
• Fear of rejection.
• We often have the same problem we see in others.
• Not used to sharing our real feelings.
• Lack of confrontational skills.

 

2) Self-confrontation should precede confronting others.

 

Luke 6:41-43 says; Luke 6:41-42 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye but do not notice or consider the beam [of timber] that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, allow me to take out the speck that is in your eye, when you yourself do not see the beam that is in your own eye? You actor (pretender, hypocrite)! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye. AMP

Too often when we have not confronted issues in our own life we are more judgmental towards others to make ourselves look good. Condemning self or others will not change anyone. It takes a secure person to confront their own issues and not condemn themselves for it. Deal with your own stuff first.

 

3) Confrontation is unavoidable

 

As a leader we must understand that their will never be a time that there will be no confrontation, many times it will happen on a weekly basis. To often as leaders we think if we were at another church or ministry things would be different, we would be free from disagreements and confrontation. I learned the mistake of this mindset early on in ministry and have some to realize that wherever you go there will always be confrontation because people are people no matter where you are. Having to confront or be confronted is not a bad thing unless we make it so.

 

4) The more insecure a person is the more conflict they have

 

Insecure people will either avoid confrontation at all cost or they will live their life to set people straight. Either way this person is miserable and wants others to feel the same way. Jesus said love your neighbor as you do yourself, we have come to realize that this means I will love others the way I love myself. And I will only love myself when I realize I am loved by God without conditions. In dealing with an insecure person whether it is someone else or myself the insecurity cannot be changed outside of experiencing the love of God.

 

 

I’ll share more on this next week but until then remember that if your goal in confronting someone is to “straighten them out” and not restoration you should back until you have the proper attitude.

 

Building A Dream

Allen Speegle

 

Someone once asked me what my greatest passion was in ministry and my response was to empower and encourage people to live their dreams. As a leader it is our responsibility to do all we can to equip people to live their dreams. Every person reading this article has a dream concerning what they would like to accomplish in and through their life. The dream of your heart is a driving force and constant motivating factor when kept alive.

 

Webster defines a dream as a series of images or thoughts, yearnings or deep desires. It is my goal that the article will spark some things that are in your heart and hopefully stir up some things in you concerning your dreams. It’s easy to get so busy with life that you forget you had a dream at one time that gave you energy for living. Every great thing that has ever been accomplished started with a dream so lets keep our dreams alive.

 

 

The Power of A Dream

 

Henry Ford once said; “The secret of a successful life is to find out what ones destiny to do and then do it”.

 

1.  A dream gives us direction.

 

      It acts like a compass telling us which direction we should be traveling.

 

2.  A dream increases our potential.

 

     Where there is no faith in the future there is no power in the present.

 

3.  A dream helps us prioritize our life.

 

      A person with a dream knows what they are willing to give up in order to

      see it become a reality.

 

4.  A dream adds value to our work.

 

     Even task that aren’t exciting or immediately rewarding take on added value when

     we know they contribute to the fulfillment of our dream.    

 

5.  A dream predicts our future.

 

     Pro.29:18  Where there is no vision, the people perish:

 

     Vision = dream, mental picture

 

      Perish = go back to the same place 

 

 

A Good Attitude Is A Main Ingredient In Living Your Dream

 

A dream without a positive attitude produces a daydreamer.

 

A positive attitude without a dream produces a pleasant person that can’t make progress.

 

A dream together with a positive attitude produces a person with unlimited possibilities and potential.

 

Your attitude not intelligence, talent, education, opportunity or even hard work is the main factor in living your dream.

 

Your attitude determines your actions and your actions determine your accomplishment.

 

People with bad attitudes major on minors in life.   

 

 

How to Live Your Dream:

 

1.  Rediscover what you want in life.

 

2.  Believe that God wants it for you and has empowered you to live it.

 

3.  Talk it.

 

4.  Make plans.

 

5.  Don’t let others stop you or talk you out of it.

 

 6.  Never let circumstances stop you.

 

 7.  Be willing to sacrifice for it to happen.

 

 8. Step out of your comfort zone.

 

 9. Live it one day at a time.

 

10.  Never think it is too late.

 

The Roads of Life
By Lori Speegle

This morning on my way to work God reminded me of a poem written by Robert Frost, ‘The Road Not Taken’. I know you maybe thinking, 'Yes I know this poem I learned in middle school, so what?' Yet strangely this poem spoke to me in away that I can only image Mr. Frost would have wanted it to. As I refreshed my memory with the lines of the verses I suddenly thought of a scripture...

Deuteronomy 30:19 "Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!"

Growing up is scary. Things that seemed unimportant to me not that long ago has struck me as urgent now. Decisions are not just a simply yes or no choices anymore, I must actually think through each situation to make sure what I do is right. It's crazy because for the longest time I thought I had my entire life planned out. From job to friends to wedding to children, I had everything I thought I would ever want in my master plan. Yet the tables have turned. I see now that I have no clue what I am doing. I realize that the choices I was making were based on what I could see with my human eyes, what had the most convenience for me or what would make me the happiest right from the get go. It never once occurred to me that I could only see so far and everything past that was a mystery. Yet now I am beginning to realize that God sees it all, not only the choice I will make, but every option after that too. He knows what will bring me the most contentment and joy as well as sorrow and grief. I know now that the road he has for me may not be the easiest or make the most sense. This road may cause me to have to sacrifice some things I once held with the most importance for something I cannot even see at this moment, but it is the road that will fulfill the desires that have filled my heart since birth.

Remember we have ONE life to live... ONE

Don't settle for what you can see, what makes sense, what feels good.... something better could be right around the bend!

 

Jesus Revealed the Father

 

            If it were not for what Jesus did, we could not have peace.  It is really no wonder that the world is messed up.  Considering how rampant sin is, the world is probably much better off than it should be.   But the truth is, sin is not really the problem. False beliefs about God are a bigger problem than sin.  Those with a faulty belief about God have no place to turn when they have problems.  If you think God is against you when you have a problem, what are you going to do? 

          The church, by and large, has caused the world to see God from a perspective that is not accurate.  The Bible shows us something entirely different.  Hebrews 1:3 “The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. 4. So he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs.  5.  For to which of the angels did God ever say, "You are my Son; today I have become your Father " ? Or again, "I will be his Father, and he will be my Son" ?  The Message bible says “…Jesus perfectly mirrors God and is stamped with God’s nature.   I have often said that if you want to find out about God and how He feels about us, read the gospels and see how Jesus treated people.  Because the way Jesus treated people is the way God our Father treats us.  The King James says “…He is the express image of His person…”  Webster’s dictionary defines express this way: “to make known one’s opinions or feelings; to put into words one’s feelings; to represent by photographic art; a messenger sent on a special errand by another; a vivid representation of meaning; the reflection of character or mood in the countenance.”  The bible says that Jesus is the express image of God our Father.  He came to make known to us God’s opinions and feelings toward us.  When you read the Gospels, focus on how Jesus treated people and you will understand how God our Father treats you and that reality will change your life.

 

Peace

 

Recently I was spending some time with the Lord and He reminded me of the importance of keeping my heart in peace and of His promises to give it to me. Out of all the things we can enjoy on this life if we do not peace none of those things mean anything.

 

If you are struggling to maintain peace take some time to meditate on the verses below “until” peace is alive once again:

 

Ps 29:11 The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace.

KJV

 

Ps 55:18 He has redeemed my life in peace from the battle that was against me so that none came near me. AMP

 

Isa 26:3 He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord! TLB

 

Isa 26:3 People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit.  MESSAGE

 

The Lord reminded me of three things concerning peace that I will briefly share with you:

 

1. As long as I stay connected to Him I will maintain and increase in peace.
2. The absence of peace is an indicator of the absence of grace.
3. The absence of peace is an indicator the I have lost focus of God’s greatness and love.

 

 

 

Patience

 

                 Hebrews 6:12

“That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

 

 

The Bible has a lot to say about patience.  So how do we define it? By definition, patience is the ability to stand under pressure without wavering. Webster defines patience as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like;  The ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet and steady perseverance.

 

How do we develop patience? Often we have heard it said, “Don’t pray for patience, because if you do, there is no telling what will happen you!” That mindset comes from the teaching that trials produce patience. This comes from a misunderstanding of James 1:3-4. This passage says, “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” The two key words in this passage are trying and worketh.  Trying, in this verse, does not mean “testing” as we have been taught, but, rather proven trustworthiness. The word worketh actually means exercises. So, when we quote it this way, the verse really means the proven trustworthiness of your faith exercises or gives you the ability to stand under pressure with a good attitude. Note that the key here is faith, and Galatians 5:6 says in the Amplified Bible that “…faith is activated, energized, expressed, and works through love.”  Better said, faith is activated when you know you are loved by God. The key to possessing patience is knowing that you’re loved by God with no conditions.

 

Patience verses:

 

Luke 21:19 In your patience, possess ye your souls.

 

Romans 5:3-4 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope.

 

Hebrews 10:36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

 

Small Beginnings

 

With summer now here in full blown fashion I am reminded of a verse that has ministered to me many times through the years. Zech 4:10 says; Do not despise this small beginning, for the eyes of the Lord rejoice to see the work begin, to see the plumbline in the hand of Zerubbabel. Years ago I read that verse and the Lord challenged me to look deeper into what it was saying and as I did I discovered that the word small not only means small but it also means “hot and dry days of summer”. As I have meditated on this through the years I have come to realize that when pursuing our dreams that there are those “hot and dry days” when it seems nothing is working in relationship to seeing the reality of those dreams. It’s during the hot and dry days that we must remain in steady pursuit of our dreams because just after the hot days of summer comes fall which is harvest time. I challenge you today to not get caught up in despising the day when things look small and not working but instead keep on keeping on. Harvest  will surely come if you do not faint and give up in the heat.

 

 

 

God Is With You

 

I stand amazed at how soon we as believers can forget that God Is With Us. The Bible makes it VERY clear that we NEVER have to fear being forsaken or forgotten by God. With that said the problem must be that when hard times come rather than running to God and His Word we run from Him. If you feel forsaken today read and mediate on the verses below.

 

Heb 13:5 For He [God]  Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor  give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor  let [you] down ( relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] AMP

 

Matt 28:20 I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.  KJV

 

John 14:17-18 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. 18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. KJV