Negativity

I don't think anything is as draining as dealing with negative people. It sucks the life out of you. Here's the problem, lots of people are negative. I think the twelve spies are a picture of what negativism will do. Ten were negative and two were positive. I think that is how it breaks down in our society at large and in most churches. There is such a fine line between healthy processing of legitimate frustrations and negative venting that doesn't serve any redeeming purpose. I think negativity is ten times as contagious as positivity! It's so easy for things to spiral downward. So how do you arrest negativity and put it in handcuffs and throw it in jail? I think it's ok to call it like you see it. Nothing wrong in saying, "Hey guys, it seems like there is some negativity happening here that’s leading to nowhere. Let's deal with it if it needs to be dealt with, but I don't want us to get derailed." I think negativity is best dealt with privately but “sometimes” publically. You have let negative people know that they are "bringing the morale of the group down to their level." Most people are totally unaware of how their negative emotions affect others and no one tells them! I try to confront it and actually play offense instead of defense if I feel others negativism is dragging others down. The only way to overcome negativity is with positivity!

Which are you? The person who walks into a room and others feel better or the one when others see they run and hide? Attitude is a choice so decide to be positive even when negative things have to be dealt with.

Phil 2:5 Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ, TLB

Seek Solitude

Solitude is tough to come by in our society. James Cerletty said, “I’m dying of easy accessibility. If Alexander Graham Bell walked into my office, I’d punch him in the nose.”

I read a study this week, and how they come up with these numbers is a mystery, but according to this particular study the average American is interrupted 74 times every day . That number has got to double if you have toddlers!  Sometimes it feels like uninterrupted time is an endangered species!

Dallas Willard says, “I don’t know of any answer to busyness other than solitude or tragedy.” Either solitude is forced upon us via tragedy. Or we have to go get it. Mark 1:35 says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place.”

You need to determine when and where you can find uninterrupted time. And then go get it. It’ll probably be very early in the morning or very late at night. While not everyone is a morning person I am and my most productive hours are 6 - 9 AM because that’s when I experience the fewest interruptions.

I love Henri Nouwen’s definition of discipline. “In the spiritual life, the word discipline means ‘the effort to create some space in which God can act.’ Discipline means to prevent everything in your life from being filled up. Discipline means that somewhere you’re not occupied, and certainly not preoccupied. In the spiritual life, discipline means to create space in which something can happen that you hadn’t planned or counted on.”

Jesus said, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen.” In other words, unplug, sign-off, disconnect. This is just good-old-fashioned good advice. Take measures to avoid interruptions.

Exodus 33:7 says, “It was Moses’ custom to set up the tent known as the Tent of Meeting far outside the camp. Everyone who wanted to consult with the Lord would go there.” There was a designated meeting spot. And it was far outside the camp.  It was away from the “hustle and bustle” of camp life. It was out of earshot so they wouldn’t be distracted by the camp noise.  This may not be true of everyone, but the farther away I get the more I seem to connect with God.

There is something about leaving the “camp” that helps us connect with God and see life properly. I challenge you to find or rediscover a place where God your Father can minister to your heart and where you can be refreshed.

First Things First

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Planning ahead may not seem “spiritual,” but it is one dimension of the image of God.  No one has more foresight than God. Ephesians 1 says, “Long before God laid earth’s foundations, he had us in mind. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family. He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need.” In other words, God anticipated and made provision for every need you will ever have before you were even born! That’s what I call lead time!

Put First Things First

Roger McKain said, “The reason most major goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first.” We need to do things in order of importance!

In his book, Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell tells a story about an accomplished concert violinist. She said that the secret to her success was “planned neglect.” She explained, “When I was in school there were many things that demanded my time. When I went to my room after breakfast I made my bed, straightened the room, dusted the floor, and did whatever else came to my attention. Then I hurried to my violin practice...  I found I wasn’t progressing as I thought I should, so I reversed things. Until my practice period was completed, I deliberately neglected everything else. That program of planned neglect, I believe, accounts for my success.”

Maybe you need to reverse things?

Big Rocks

In his book, First Things First, Stephen Covey talks about a speaker who pulled out a wide-mouth, gallon jar along with some fist-sized rocks. He said, “How many rocks do you think I can fit into the jar?” One by one he filled the jar with rocks and said, “Is it full?” The audience said “yes,” but the speaker took out some gravel. The gravel filled the empty spaces and he said, “Is it full?” The audience caught on and said, “Probably not.” He pulled out a bucket of sand and filled the crevices left by the rocks and gravel. “Is it full”? The audience said, “No.” He pulled out a pitcher of water and poured into in the jar. The he said, “What’s the point? “

Someone in the audience said, “There are gaps, and if you really work at it, you can always fit more into your life.” And that’s true but that wasn’t the point. The speaker said, “The point is this: if you don’t put the big rocks in first you won’t fit them in at all.”

The big rocks are the important things. And if you don’t schedule them first, they won’t get scheduled at all. If you don’t control your calendar, your calendar will control you. Eugene Peterson said, “The calendar is a tool with which to get un-busy.” Most of us would say our calendars keep us busy. But what we need to do is take control of our calendars and schedule time with God and with our spouses and with our kids.

I have enough to keep me busy all day every day so if I don’t schedule focus days my teaching and leadership suffer. And those are my two primary responsibilities. That means they get on the calendar first and I schedule around them.

The Hurry Sickness

According to Meyer Friedman, most Americans suffer from “hurry sickness.” Hurry Sickness is “trying to do more and more in less and less time.” You can try to do more and more in less and less time but eventually you hit the point of diminishing returns where more is less and less is more.

In his book The Life You’ve Always Wanted, John Ortberg writes about a stressful season in his life. He called his spiritual mentor and asked him, “What do I need to do to eliminate chaos in my life?” There was a long pause and then his mentor said, “Eliminate hurry from your life.” And there was another long pause. Finally John Ortberg said, “I’ve got that one written down, what else?” His mentor said, “There is nothing else.”

F.W. Boreham said, “I believe that one of the supreme aims of a man’s life should be to secure a margin. A good life, like a good book, should have a good margin. The most influential people in the world are the people who make you feel that they are never in a hurry.”

That is how people felt around Jesus! He was in constant demand. Everybody wanted a piece of Jesus. But he never seemed to be in a hurry! In Mark 10, Jesus is walking out of Jericho. A blind man named Bartimaeus calls out to Jesus and the disciples rebuked him. They’ve had places to go and things to do. But Mark 10:49 says, “Jesus stopped.” Those two words speak volumes about Jesus.

Take some time to slow down and come apart lest in the end your life comes apart.